My 1st Interview with "Big Paws"

"Well - you've really pre empted my first question - why you're called Big Paws -"


"Hmm - Didnt think that would it be too difficult to work out!!!"


"So Big Paws - how did you come to find yourself as my permanent house pet?"

"Well - it was like this - i was bought to your old flat by one of the people who rented the flat from you - as you know they left in a rush having not paid their rent for over 8 months and left me to fend for myself in your garage. I dont know why but you took pity on me and you looked after me ever since - even though I must admit I am in rather dire need of a wash!!!"



"Yes - I have to admit you're more of a Grey White Tiger than a Snow White Tiger these days! You obviously feel quite at ease though because you now have two of your sons living with you and a black and white cat, called Mat who you seem to have adopted."



"Yup - this is Roary....


















This is Roar.....

















And this is Mat...."












"So how did you come across Mat?"


"Well I was out with the boys one day and there was this black and white cat miaowing away - he kept on saying "Hello...Hello...Is anyone there?"


Then the wild dogs came and started barking away and chasing Mat - We managed to distract the dogs and I used my big paws to wack away some of them.

Then we took Mat to the flat - I tried to make a joke about a giraffe but as it turned out Mat was completely humourless - i knew right away that he would get on with the boys...

Then Roary asked him "So where you from?"

Roar replied "Its obvious - he's come from the vets - he stil wearing the green overcoat... Are you a doctor?"

"No I'm a patient - I was running a rat from Aldwych to The Strand when this cyclist mowed me down - I wake up today and it's like I'm hallucinating or something - what's going on?"

"OK - Sit down - we'll try and tell you what's happened...First it was on the street - its was on the news - on the websites - it was happening in your face 24 hours a day 7 days a week... then thats when the news blackouts started - there was no explanation - just the news stories all seemed to be stuck in a loop - you'd watch a news bulletin about the Russian Invasion of Georgia and all they would show you was the same burnt out tank and the same smouldering block of flats over and over again. Then they showed the Chinese Olympics, but it was the even worse - About 10 people (humans) managed to make a protest about human rights but they were soon arrested and deported from the country."

"But there must be a democracy " said Matt increduosly "There's always a democracy - they'll be in a plane or in a bunker organising their next bit of humanitarian aid"


"There's no Democracy - there's more police but not much army as they're all stuck in Iraq or Afghanistan. See, when I was younger, - look - it all started with the poll tax riots - people were really angry and wanted their voice to be heard so they went on the sreets and the politicians had to react - But Mrs Thatcher (who was at the time The Conservative Prime Minister of Great Britain) soon introduced laws which meant that people were not allowed to travel in convoys, basically making it illegal for people to organise a demonstration, let alone a picnic!!!!.

Then came along Mr Tony Blair (supposedly a Labour Politician, but his dad had tried to be a Conservative MP)- when he told the people that we were to goto war against Iraq the protesters flocked to the streets in their 100 000's in Central London
so he went even further - to the stage where made it illegal for anyone to hold a protest within a certain distance from Parliament Square - That Great Bastion of Democracy you keep on dreaming of Mat.
But to make it even worse he then resigned and decreed that the next Prime Minister wouldnt be voted in by the public but he should automatically take over from himself.

You can see what its done to the humans, Mat - they seem to have lost all sense of purpose - they're almost like zombies - wandering about aimlessly wondering what the all powerful will do next.

Some even say that the govt has been putting neuro chemicals in the water supply and now its evolved into the blood."

"What about my parents ? - I must try and find my parents " insisted Mat "They'll be alright - they know what to do..."

"Mat " said Big Paws "if you want we'll go and look for your parents tomorrow - but they'll be like every one else - human and pet - they'll be lost - Now you must eat









and then you must sleep ....."



"And To This Day We have never even found a trace of Mat's Parents...."



"Thankyou Big Paws for your time - its been a great pleasure interviewing you at last - I hope we'll be able to keep this blog going as its always interesting to hear a Tiger's Point Of View. Anything you'd like to add before we go?"


"Hmmm - Yes there's one thing - One of my favourite sayings: "DON'T DO A RUMSFELD - DO IT WITH ROAR NOT AWE!!!!!"